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Post by FAITH ATTICUS UNDERWOOD on Jun 4, 2010 12:05:14 GMT
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD• to believe there's someone else who could be •JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME faith exhaled - she knew that needing a cigarette to think clearly wasn't such a great idea. she knew that it was bad for her; but she hadn't known any other way. moving here by herself hadn't helped her habit. and since she had been smoking for years, the thought of really kicking it all in terrified her. her smoking was her lifeline - it could always calm her down and faith was constantly in control then - it would take days, months, even years off her life expectancy. and faith was in control of this; she could estimate when she was going to die... if she died from smoking, that is. there were always other ways to die - the vampire mafia could always hunt her to death. not such a happy thought, but faith knew it could happen. the mafia could kill her in less than a heartbeat - she was only a human, of course. faith flickered out of her daydream and realised jay had joined her on the balcony; not standing so close, so he wouldn't get the backlash of her smoke swirling towards him. she had a feeling he didn't like smoking, so she inched slightly further away from him. of course, jay was deep in his thoughts - as always. the idea frustrated faith - him randomly coming over had not only surprised her, but now, he was just standing there, daydreaming and not saying a word to her? faith felt slight anger bubble up inside of her. she bit her lip. hard. no, faith couldn't be thinking badly about jay; he was the good part of her life. and if she destroyed him and their relationship, there would be no good in her life. no enjoyment - no happiness.
she sighed. really, all they wanted was to sit down and talk everything out. for god's sake, they hadn't seen or spoken to each other in six years - both had to be different people, doing different things from what they were when they met - surely. faith felt her anger drain away - she wasn't mad with jay, really. she was mad with herself. this awkwardness was caused only by her - her not being able to trust. by kissing him and backing away, shocked by what she had done. everything was about control and trust issues - faith had to stop this now. she had to show jay that she cared about him and that she would be able to trust him, otherwise, there was no point of him hanging around. sure, they could be friends. but not good friends, and certainly not anything more. the thought cut her heart - she wanted them to be good friends - something more, too. she cared so much about jay; too much to let him go over some stupid issue she had with herself. "this is all my fault," she sighed to herself, but knew that jay could hear her. he was a vampire - weren't they supposed to have super hearing? "i'm really sorry. i'm being stupid. and i'm making an ass out of myself," faith closed her eyes and flicked away her cigarette, it was finished, almost down to the filter. "let's start again, as though you have just walked up here and met me. not for the first time, because london was great, but from today - let's start again," faith bit her lip; what about the kiss? "unless, you don't want to? or you want to remember the kisses? and - oh, i'm wondering aloud too much." she really was making an ass out of herself.
fuck it, she thought to herself. she was going to go for it. not waiting for jay to respond, faith launched her way over the balcony to him and hugged him tightly. "i've missed you, jay," she smiled lightly, and knew that he must be thinking how much of an idiot she was. "so, since we havent seen each other for more than six years, how've you been? what's happened? and where have you been?" she let the questions sink in, but before he opened his mouth to talk back, she launched another question at him. "what's being a vampire like?" faith laughed and hoped jay wouldn't take it the wrong way. wait; the wrong way? jay never took anything the wrong way - as far as faith knew, he barely had a temper and had never got angry with her. although, she doubted herself since before she decided to 'start fresh' faith had really been an ass. a control freak and someone who really didn't trust. faith was determined to let jay have control, instead of having it herself, and to make herself trust him. it was jay - he hadn't done a bad thing in his life to her. before and, so far, after he was a vampire. faith waited for him to reply before doing anything else.
[/justify] TAGGED ! jaydennn (: WORDS ! eight two six. OUTFIT ! CLICK - credit drake's wifey @ caution. LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION NOTES ! (:
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Post by JAYDEN HARRIS KNIGHT on Jun 4, 2010 13:12:05 GMT
was everything in life this complicated? even between friends, why did some things just have to be impossible? it almost felt like maybe he wasn't meant to see her again after that first day. he still didn't speak, still unsure of how, and what he was going to say to her. it had never been like that on the first day. on that day words had flown out of his mouth non-stop, until he was desperate for breath. sometime jay wondered why he was like this. why did he keep losing himself deep in his own mind? why couldn't he uncover something to say to one of his former best friends? but he couldn't do it because, frankly, he was hurt. without looking he sensed her inch a little further away whilst she was smoking. he appreciated that, he didn't like smoking and, immortal or not, he would rather there not be somebody elses cigarette fumes inside his system, slowly corrupting them. jay knew what smoking did, he knew the prices some people had to pay for doing and also, he knew that eventually, this habit was going kill faith prematurely - way before she should die. jay couldn't help but think about that. he knew that he was obviously going to still be around when faith died, and he didn't think that he would be able to handle it very well at all. but maybe he would grow stronger emotionally before that time came. he hoped so, anyway. jay drummed his hands against the railing briefly, being careful not to drum it too hard. too hard and the railing would come off right in his hands, and that was the last thing he needed right now. he wanted to speak but, what was he meant to say?
"oh, i'm wondering aloud too much."
jay shook his head slightly. he decided to speak, still looking out across london, though. "i can't exactly forget what's just happened, but if you want to, sure, if you want to, we can start today again..." he finally turned, resting his back against the railing effortlessly. was there any point in starting again? how the hell was he supposed to just forget about those kisses, the ones that had literally happened minutes after jay first entering faith's place? he wasn't going to be able to forget them, he guessed that faith wouldn't forget either, so was starting again really necessary. but she had suggested it, so he would go along with it. if it was what she wanted, then of course he would do it. he could, and would do anything for her, that was the way he felt about her. jay tucked his hands back into his jeans pockets, wondering about how they could start again. they couldn't just say "hello, i haven't seen you in six years!" could they? it wasn't that easy, and it never really was. sometimes, he really hated life. it just seemed to pull him along, never really giving him anything in return, and taking from him whenever it wanted. jay snickered slightly - that sounded like his father. ugh, he didn't even want to get started on him right now. faith was the only that mattered right now. she wanted to start again, so start again he would, for her. however, he knew that it was going to be harder for them now, because of what had already happened, and because faith hadn't mentioned anything about him being a vampire as of yet.
he was taken a little by surprise as faith hugged him again. he hugged her back, wrapping his arms back around her waist like before. "where have you been? what's being a vampire like?" he knew that the question would be coming from her sooner or later, about him being a vampire. it was an easy enough question, but hopefully it wouldn't make her trust for him even worse. hopefully by telling her stuff like this, it would make her more comfortable around him. "oh, you know me, nothing much really happens to me. but i have been to paris, rome and athens since we last spoke. by myself, but they were all so beautiful. and being a vampire? it's absolutely amazing. i'm so much faster, so much stronger, and i'm immortal, i can do absolutely anything i want to do." he couldn't help but smile slightly as he finished off. hearing that out loud sounded so good. jay could do anything because of him being a vampire. jay could go hurl himself off a cliff, and live to tell everybody about it as well. this came in his handy with his parkour, as that was the one thing he loved doing more than most things. it was so exhilarating. "so, how's your life been?" he returned her question, curious to know how her life had been going since they parted ways six years ago. hopefully she had been having a good time. obviously, she had gotten more tattoos since last time, but he wanted to know more. who she had seen, where she had been, what she had been doing. jay wanted to know it all. isnt that what friends wanted?
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Post by FAITH ATTICUS UNDERWOOD on Jun 4, 2010 14:00:22 GMT
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD• to believe there's someone else who could be •JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME of course, faith still felt bad about what had happened before - not the kisses; they were wonderful and she had been wanting to do it for a while. but everything else? pah. she had been stupid. for all she wanted to stop and take everything back, faith couldn't. the words were said and done. she had hurt jayden. a lot. any idiot would be able to tell that - the way he was so involved with his thoughts and didn't seem to be overly bothered to reply fully with his answers, choosing them to be one word and the lowest amount of syllables possible. yes, she had hurt him bad. sighing slightly, and still mentally kicking herself, faith looked out to the beautiful view of london. everything here was like a dream - the places were happy and lively; even when it rained. and boy, did it rain a lot compared to california. after her three months of living in this dream of a city, she had finally started becoming used to the fluctuating weather. strangely, even when it poured it down, the city was still like a perfect dream for faith. everything was great - there was no mother and no authority figures other than the law. and little miss perfect faith liked to stick with the law on almost everything; other than the vampires. they deserved much more free will than they got. and illegal? pah. how ridiculous - sure, they lived off blood, but there were a hell of a lot of people willing to give it. a lot more than the government had realised, obviously. the vampires helped the world turn around - they owned all the expensive businesses since they had been alive such a long amount of time, and, really, they had stopped the country from getting into so much debt. the government owed the vamps big time.
"i can't exactly forget what's just happened, but if you want to, sure, if you want to, we can start today again..." faith gulped - she didn't expect jay to forget what had happened; she had meant more to remember what had happened, but move on from it. as though it was gone; dead from their lives. "i didn't mean it like that... but y'know..." she sighed, not being able to explain herself. she bit the side of her lip, waiting for jayden to reply with his answer to her multiple questions; she just hoped he would reply. "oh, you know me, nothing much really happens to me. but i have been to paris, rome and athens since we last spoke. by myself, but they were all so beautiful. and being a vampire? it's absolutely amazing. i'm so much faster, so much stronger, and i'm immortal, i can do absolutely anything i want to do." faith nodded and smiled - this was the jay she knew and remembered - they jay she loved. not the one who didn't talk and was centered inside his head for long periods of time.
"me?" faith laughed. she had done nothing at all in the six years, and she told him so. "nothing's happened, really. since the vamps have came out of their coffins, my mom has made her own anti-vampire organisation. but that's all nice and cool - even if it does have more than three thousand members and is becoming increasingly scary. uh - i've gotten tattooed a lot more; it's from all of the stress from my mom, you see. and the fact that she hates them so much - 'not lady-like behaviour' - and like i give a shit about that," she coughed, covering her mouth with her hand. this was one of the things she hated about smoking - not only was it expensive, but it killed her lungs, too. and she couldn't just... quit, either. "i haven't been anywhere, really. only moving here three months ago and before that, in california. living with her. i moved 'cause of that; i couldn't live there anymore without her knowing i didn't mind the vamps - she would have killed me, quite literally," faith paused, smiling about how she could just talk and talk about mindless stuff that meant hardly anything. "being a vampire sounds pretty cool, if you ask me. other than the whole blood thing; that would freak me out. damn it, i don't even like sucking on my cuts whenever they bleed. imagine me as one of the vamps - yeah, that would work wouldn't it?" faith giggled at her comment and shook her head, returning to the beautiful cityscape around her. "and that's it, really..."
[/justify] TAGGED ! jaydennn (: WORDS ! seven seven three. OUTFIT ! CLICK - credit drake's wifey @ caution. LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION NOTES ! (:
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Post by JAYDEN HARRIS KNIGHT on Jun 4, 2010 16:35:42 GMT
"i didn't mean it that way...but y'know..."
sighing quietly once as she did, jay nodded slightly realizing now how she had meant it. so far today, his visit hadn't exactly went to plan. he had been kissed, hurt, and now being spoken to again. it was a complete reversal to what he had expected. it was like after all of this faith, he didn't understand faith anymore. but he did, he knew he did deep inside, but the way she was speaking, and the way things had happened, made him feel like a completely different person to her, almost like he was a total stranger, when he wasn't. he was jayden. just because he wasn't human anymore didn't mean that his insides had changed - except for the need of human blood. a time like this made him wonder - maybe if he had still been a human things would have been easier. but he was thankful to whoever it was that turned him. however, the remaining members of his family had not taken so kindly to jayden's...transformation, shall we say. they had completely shunned him. they had noticed the much paler tinge to his skin first, then they noticed that he wasn't sleeping. so, instead of wasting time letting them figure it out for themselves, jay had just come right out with it, and told them that he had been turned into a vampire. they had kicked him out of the house, screaming incredibly loudly as they did so. he remembered it so vividly - he always had to prove to himself how quickly some people can change their opinions of other. but faith hadn't changed, he didn't think. she still didn't really trust him.
an anti-vampire organization? great, just great. that was the one thing jay really didn't need - another bunch of people against his race. what the fuck was their problem with the vampires anyway? the only reason they were being hunted down constantly was because the humans didn't understand them at all. they had no idea what they were like. they had no idea that, on the inside, they were just like them - they were human. the only...slightly difference was that...vampires needed blood, but still. humans were scared, so they thought that they should kill off the vampires. yeah, 'cause that was what would happen in a fight, wouldn't it? a straight fight between a vampire and a human? please, there was no contest. the vampire would have killed the human and be back home before it even hit the ground. even though faith didn't like the sound of it either, jay decided on keeping his mouth shut about this organization. mostly because it was faith's mother involved in the group - he wasn't going to say anything bad about her mother right in front of her like that. he wondered what drove people to organize such hate groups like these. famous hate groups from the past like the nazis and the KKK - what made the people behind them express their opinions so publicly? because that's all both parties had been, one person's opinion on a group of people. which was the same as faith's mom's hate group towards vampires. her opinion. jay thought that it was all ridiculous, but this he kept to himself, of course.
"and, that's it, really..."
jay nodded. "yeah..." he had listened to the rest of her little speech, and it was understandable. after a while, london quickly became quite a boring place to live. at first you get all excited because of all the nightclubs, all the shops, the west end and all of the other attractions. but once you've seen a few performances, been to all the clubs, been on the london eye a few times and been to every single shop, london didn't have very much to offer after that. but, to be fair to london, jay had to admit that he hadn't gotten sick of it. his fashion sense could still be attended to in the shops, the nightclub always contained new people to meet and new shows kept coming to the west end nearly every month. so far, anyways. jay moved, standing beside faith and leaning both arms down on the railing, looking out across london. he glanced at her once, quickly, before looking out again. jay could smell the smoke on her, but at least there wasn't any more of it drifting around in the air, so he didn't mind that much. he breathed in fresh air slowly, letting it fill up his lungs deeply before breathing out again, quietly. it felt good, did the fresh air. and now he stood, arched over slightly to lean against the railing, waiting once more for what faith would say next. it wasn't like he was going to run out of things to talk about. faith was the one person he had gotten the closest to in his whole life, and he hadn't seen her for six years, there was no where he would be speechless at all. he could spend all day here, talking to her.
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