Post by ELLIE MARIE HARRIS. on Jun 2, 2010 2:22:19 GMT
ellie marie harris , -----------------------
------------------------------------------------------ EIGHTEEN , HUMAN , PEACEKEEPER , NAIVE.
"BABY DOES A DANCE IN THE DARK, BUT WHEN HE'S LOOKING SHE FALLS APART. -------------"
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from the blog of ellie marie harris
bonjour tout le monde! i feel like shit today, surprise surprise. i seriously think that this whole vampire/human stuff has gotten way too out of hand. really, i joined the peacekeepers because i wanted to keep everything under control. now i don't know if i'll be able to do it or not. of course i can, it'll just be extremely difficult, and eventually i'll probably want to stab myself. or maybe i'll just volunteer myself to the vampires so i won't have to deal with being one of the 'weak ones'. i swear i'm not weak, just a little bit naive and shy, and certainly not one for violence. i mean, who actually wants to fight about all of this? except the mafia, that is. and frankly, they scare the living shit out of me, and i would really like to run away from them and never have to deal with them ever again. but as long as all of this is going on, i'm pretty sure i'll have to at some point. and hopefully that will be in a very long time. at this point, i don't even know who i can trust, and who's just trying to stab me in the back, quite literally. i try not to be scared, but at this point i don't even know what to do. am i supposed to pretend like nothing is going on? i mean, i am naive, and a little bit afraid, but in my situation, who wouldn't be?
at least i have a few people i can trust, but right now even that's a little bit on edge. i don't know if i can trust any vampires without worrying about them feeding off of me, or anything like that. i mean, as long as i'm alive, i'll be happy, or at least not a total wreck. i may be a mess, but at least i believe in something. i'm not going to stand idly by and pretend that nothing is going on here. it's not my fault the government won't let the vampires integrate into society. the whole point of this is so that everyone can live a slightly more normal life. nobody's normal, but at least at this point things might get a little better. besides the whole peacekeeping thing, life is pretty damn good. so far, i'm almost done with my first year of university, and i haven't failed any classes yet. but i've still got time to get myself in trouble.
seriously, i need to get out more. with all this worrying about everything, i've barely had enough time to go out. i've had to drink and smoke alone. this is fucking pathetic. i cannot believe this. at some point, i just need to focus on myself. with all this conflict, i haven't even been able to party or go clubbing. i may look like little miss innocent, but really, i'm anything but. seriously, people might want to rethink their opinions of me before judging. i guess the world is just made of judgmental people, which got us into this mess in the first place
contents of ellie's purse
pink ipod nano, htc hd2 cell phone, half pint of smirnoff apple vodka, makeup case, nail polish, keys, weed pipe, condoms, leggings, tank top
ellie's most played songs on itunes
precious things ; tori amos
beverly hills ; weezer
start wearing purple ; gogol bordello
split needles ; the shins
i go to the barn because i like the ; band of horses
we will make a song destroy ; rogue wave
karma police ; radiohead
sex is not the enemy ; garbage
ooh la la ; goldfrapp
machine gun ; portishead
HI, MY NAME IS LO. I'M TWENTY YEARS OLD AND I'VE BEEN ROLEPLAYING FOR SIX YEARS. YOU CAN REACH ME THROUGH PM/AIM AND I ALSO PLAY CASSIDY, CHELSEA & LUCAS. I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY I SWEAR THIS IS MY LAST CHARRIE.</div>
MADE BY LILLY CAN'T BE TAMED OF CAUTION 2.0.
