Post by CHELSEA VERONICA SMITHSON on Jun 2, 2010 17:48:57 GMT
SOMETIMES I FIND IT HARD
• to believe there's someone else who could be •
JUST AS MESSED UP AS ME
life sort of sucked for chelsea veronica smithson. she had hardly any friends in london, and frankly, being a vampire was a bit on the tedious side. really, who wanted to go around sucking people's blood. it got old after a while. maybe that was because she had been a vampire for most of two-hundred years, and spending all her time poofing around the world, being not quite dead wasn't exactly the most ideal situation for her. but then again, for most of her lifetime as a vampire, she had to hide her true identity. now that the vampires were out, she could freely be who she wanted. though the mafia still had it out for just about anybody who wasn't one of them. as much as she hated to admit it, it wasn't really that bad being a vampire, minus the fact that she had to kill people every now and then in order to survive. but it wasn't like chelsea liked to kill people, it was just what she had to do. there were some people she would never even consider turning into vampires for their own sake. take damon earnshaw for example, he was just her plaything. not to mention gorgeous, and always a willing volunteer. but really, he could never be a vampire. besides, if he was, chelsea would have no reason to bite him anymore.
it was a typical saturday night for chelsea, spending the evening in hyde park, hoping to find some blood. all she had to do was quickly bite them, and they'd have no memory of what happened. that was the advantage of being a vampire, she could just make people forget. on occasion, chelsea felt a tinge of guilt, but for the most part, she thought of it as a service they provided for her. after all, since the vampires were out in the open, it should be expected. except for those select few humans who had no idea that vampires even existed. for the most part, chelsea felt sorry for them, because soon enough they'd be eaten by the mafia, and forced to be on a side they didn't even want in the first place. however, chelsea was among the vampires who weren't just out to kill and manipulate people. she really did want peace between humans and vampires. however, the government wasn't exactly allowing it, and the fight was going to take longer than any of the peacekeepers had hoped. for chelsea's sake, she just hoped it was over before anything got too violent. there was really no logical reason for conflict, it just sort of happened. or maybe all the humans were under the impression that vampires were demons. that wasn't true at all. just the crazy hardcore mafia vampires were horrible, and on occasion some of the others. and chelsea really didn't want anybody to find her intimidating, because for the most part, she really wasn't.
taking a seat on one of the benches in hyde park, chelsea breathed in a sigh of relief. at least she was alive, and not being totally alienated by the humans. she had friends, just not that many of them at this point. there was damon, and the rest of the peacekeepers. but other than that, really, she was on her own. maybe she didn't put herself out there enough. that was, except when she acted as deputy to the peacekeepers. in that case, she was willing to put everything she believed in on the line. but all the time it would take too much out of her. it was so crazy how much an entire group depended on her to make everything better. chelsea hated all this responsibility some of the time. it almost seemed like it wasn't even worth anything if nobody would accept the vampires for who they were. but for now, she would just try to forget about everything that was going on for a split second, and focus on herself.
getting out her ipod, she turned it on to 'i think i'm paranoid' by garbage. at that point, the song fit her life perfectly, and really not much else could describe what she was feeling. but she wouldn't ever admit to anyone that she was vulnerable and sometimes felt like breaking. because to everyone else she showed a perfect exterior, and that was exactly what she wanted. nobody needed to know that she was flawed in any way. of course she was always afraid of the mafia coming and attacking everything that she believed in, and while she was strong and athletic, she couldn't defeat them by herself. chelsea was just one nineteen year old girl, and there wasn't really much that she could do by herself, no matter how hard she tried. it just wasn't working. she needed somebody to be there for her, no matter how much she wasn't willing to admit it to anybody, least of all herself. under no circumstances would chelsea actually admit defeat.
she just had to stay as strong as possible, and try not to kill anyone in the process, except perhaps the mafia. she had lived for too long as a vampire to not show who she really was. chelsea hated hiding herself, and now that she could actually be out in the open as a vampire, nobody wanted to be around her because they were too worried that she would bite or kill them, or somehow manipulate them. of course chelsea used the power of manipulation, but that was only under very certain specific circumstances, when she was provoked. it took quite a bit to make her mad, mostly just being a mafia member, or somebody who had an irrational fear of vampires. of course she understood those who had a past experience with one, and couldn't trust the mafia. that seemed perfectly normal to her.
the park was empty, no surprise there. after all, it was still evening and none of the other vampires had come out for feeding yet. after all, there weren't any humans around to feed on, so being here was sort of pointless, other than the fact that chelsea had nothing better to do. how pathetic was that, that she hadn't even gone out, or to a club. her chances of finding somebody were much higher there than they were in the middle of hyde park. but for now, she was pretty comfortable sitting and listening to music. tuning out the world worked sometimes to make her feel a little less like a loner, even though she was totally by herself.
TAGGED ! damon.
WORDS ! one zero nine nine
OUTFIT ! CLICK
LYRICS ! sometimes by skillet
TEMPLATE ! PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
NOTES ! sorry it is teh suckage, but chelson will be epic :]
