Post by NATALIE KATHRYN CALDWELL on Jun 6, 2010 20:30:50 GMT
natalie kathryn caldwell , ------------
------------------------------------------ NINETEEN , HUMAN , NEUTRAL , OUTGOING.
"IF YOU'RE LOOKING OUT YOUR WINDOW WHEN YOU RIDE AWAY, AND YOU'RE
STARING AT THE CEILING TRYING TO GET AWAY, YOU TOLD US TO DECIDE WHA
T WE WANT TODAY, BUT I DON'T KNOW. --------------------------------------------------"
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from the diary of natalie caldwell
entry number one - february twenty-eighth, 2010
so, apparently my mother thinks i need to write out my feelings in a journal. or more like my therapist via my mother. why i even have to go to therapy, i have no idea. if it's because of jaim, i can handle myself. and if not, i must be more fucked up than i think i am. however, i try to put on a normal facade most of the time, and a lot of times that doesn't really work the best. i guess that my mother has her reasons for sending me to this place, although i don't quite agree with her. yeah, jaim disappeared, and i'm trying to come to grips with that. i mean, i wasn't super close with her, but still, she was one of my best friends' sisters, so i'm more concerned for his safety than anything else, to be honest. but at the same time, i have to deal with it too. i guess that, and the fact that she found a vial of acid in my purse probably makes her think i'm super messed up. i swear, i only did it once, and i was gonna sell the rest of it. not like that would be any reassurance to my overprotective mother. either way, it's not legal, and she'd freak the fuck out if she knew i planned on selling it. but whatever, this journal is a piece of shit. i don't get any of this bullshit, but i guess it's mostly for my therapist's well-being. but if that bitch has to read it, i'm fucked.
entry number two - march seventh, 2010
great. now i have to do a weekly entry. and my therapist is going to read this. but now that she knows i'm a raging lunatic, i might as well give her what she wants. besides, the longer i'm here, the less time i have to spend at my own house. also, the more likely i will be shipped off to an insane asylum. but i don't think i'm quite that crazy yet, so hopefully i'll stick with weekly sessions for now. but i guess at some point i have to come to grips with my problems. i'm so good at pretending to be this perfect outgoing bubbly blonde, when i'm really the opposite. but nobody outside my house, and the therapists office has to know that. i mean, i don't even tell my friends this shit, because to them i'm just a party girl, good for nothing more than hooking them up with whatever they want. i sort of wish that i didn't have to deal with them so much. sometimes they annoy the living shit out of me, but i still do, because otherwise i would have nobody. god, that sounds so fucking depressing.
contents of natalie's purse
gum, ipod touch, htc hd2 cell phone, pint of smirnoff raspberry vodka, cigarettes, weed pipe, vial of acid, receipts, notepad, pens, old nightclub wristbands
natalie's playlist
driveway - great northern
predict the day - ladytron
airplane - imogen heap
dani california - red hot chili peppers
temptation waits - garbage
sleepyhead - passion pit
psychobabble - frou frou
bliss - tori amos
hometown glory - adele
weed party - band of horses
HI, MY NAME IS LO. I'M TWENTY YEARS OLD AND I'VE BEEN ROLEPLAYING FOR SIX YEARS. YOU CAN REACH ME THROUGH PM/AIM AND I ALSO PLAY CASS, CHELS, ELLIE & LUCAS. I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY SKINS IS LOVE.
MADE BY LILLY CAN'T BE TAMED OF CAUTION 2.0.